18 September, 2020

My grandfather was an alcoholic, damaged in the war

He sexually abused me as a 6-8 year old. I’m only now talking about it & freeing myself up from the shame. I am sad for my inner child, but relieved I can now release the shame & enjoy my life!

I remember his rancid breath, the scratching of his moustache, his hands on me

I was protecting my sister, that was my job. But I wanted to be clean. Why did I not tell my mum? Maybe I tried, but the shame suffocated my voice. What a path it’s been and I arrive at 53 in a life that I love. I’m not a survivor, I’m a thriver. Don’t call me a victim, that gives him the power. I won’t let him have any more of my life. The tears I cry are from long ago. They restore my faith in life and in things good.

I’m so loving my life, am freer than ever

I want others to know that shame is a fog that is unbearable and blinding. Little girls can’t speak the unspoken, it”s impossible to say it. So now I shout it. What happened isn’t ok. His wandering hands caused damage. But I am not me because of his actions, I am me in spite of them.

I’m free now – Anna


A deeply personal story is transformed into a mini song by songwriter Isla.
“The person who shared this story was so, so brave. Thank you for your vulnerability ūüíú” Isla

Audience Song is a collective of songwriters who compose songs inspired by stories that speak of overcoming the challenges and adversities in our fast-changing world.


AUDIENCE SONG is a project by Song Conversations

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